Raising women in the age of Barbie

 

I was a fan of Barbie when I was young. I had an old apple basket that I used to transport my dolls. I would bring them to the backyard where I would imagine they lived in treehouses (in the boxwood hedge we had around our yard). Occasionally there was danger, when G.I. Joe arrived with the help of the boys in the neighbouring yard. Joe was far too aggressive for Barbie’s liking.

Being a brunette myself, I was always on the lookout for dark-haired Barbies. I remember getting scolded for misappropriating a certain doll from a friend’s house, and having to return it to its rightful owner. I do not remember thinking that I should aspire to look like Barbie when I grew up. That never crossed my mind. It was a ridiculous idea. She had no curves to speak of. She was plastic. She was a doll. I didn’t imagine I was expected to try to look like my Dawn doll either.

I was, instead, a victim of the airbrushing era of the 1980s supermodel in beauty and fashion magazines. But that is another story.

I remember being told that I could grow up to be “whatever I wanted”. I can’t remember who told me that (perhaps a teacher) but I believed them. I had no reason not to believe them. I competed for highest marks with the boys in my class. I often won. I felt I was being treated equally.

And yet, as I matured, I realized that something weird was going on. Slowly but surely, society began to carve out an image for me and my girlfriends. We were expected to act, dress, walk and talk a certain way. We weren’t supposed to be too loud, ambitious, competitive, or victorious. And that wasn’t necessarily coming from the men. Our female mentors, teachers, club leaders and coaches also advised us on society’s expectation of a nice, young lady.

I’m telling you it held us back. Made us falter when we should have spoken out against injustice, harrassment, maybe even assault. Had us questioning our instincts and doubting our own abilities when we were developing and daring to pursue our dreams. Society told us, in so many soft little whispers, that we were wrong. That it would be too hard.

Now, every chance I get, I encourage my daughters and granddaughters to trust their instincts and listen to their gut. To try new things, and find what gives them joy. I hope they will do those things, because the world needs more Barbies who have busted out of their boxes. The world needs more joy.

-30-

Pictured: Dawn doll "Lily" circa 1972