“Hooray! Hooray! It’s the first of May! Outdoor *bleeeeeeep*
begins today!”
Every year, without fail, my father would holler this anthem
at the top of his lungs. Where the saying came from, I have no idea. I am not
proficient in searches of the Internet for things of this nature. And I’m
afraid what will pop up on my screen if I put those words in the search bar.
Some also refer to the 8th of May as opposed to the first. In our
part of the world, the 8th might buy you a bit more warmth for your
frolicking en plein air. In any case, it is a tradition in many families to
holler this silly proclamation each year, in celebration of finer weather for
all outdoor activities.
The first Saturday of May, on the other hand, is recognized
in many countries as International Naked Gardening Day. Apparently it began in
Seattle, of all places, about 13 years ago, by a group of nudists. It’s meant
to be a celebration of the human body and a day to get in touch with nature.
I’m imagining this is likely more popular in warmer climes, where fewer bugs
exist. As soon as our snow disappears, the blackflies arrive on the scene. They
persist throughout the month of May, so unless you don’t mind getting covered
in extremely itchy little bites, I suggest you slip back into your pants and
shirt.
When I was young my parents had a friend who liked to garden
in the nude. She had a sign at the end of her driveway asking incoming visitors
to honk before approaching. It was a long driveway, thankfully, giving her time
to pull her clothes back on before her guests arrived. I just hope she wore a
good SPF in her sunscreen because she was a redhead and I imagine she burned
easily.
I don’t see the appeal to naked gardening or doing other
things in the nude out of doors. I’m not much of a risk-taker, and I don’t like
getting eaten by bugs. I’m pretty careful about wearing protection from the
sun, and I get enough cuts and scrapes while squatting in the garden while
fully dressed. I can just imagine the injuries if I was buck naked.
I must admit, however, I did try it, once. We have a
completely private back yard so I felt it was safe to be impulsive and
spontaneous. I took all my clothes off one summer day and lay them out on the
back porch before stepping out to weed the garden in my birthday suit. The
experience was not exactly freeing, however. It pretty much had the opposite
effect. I was feeling quite exposed and sheepish, and looked up, searching the
sky for any sign of the Google Earth satellite. I remembered how surprised I
was to discover that you could see those images in great detail, right down to
a coffee cup left on a patio table. I was contemplating my exposure when I
heard the unmistakeable crunch of car tires on the driveway. I had about two
minutes to run back to the porch and pull my clothes on before my sister-in-law
poked her head around the corner of the house to greet me.
“Hi! Whatcha….hey. What’s going on?”
I was just pulling my shirt over my head. I decided to come
clean. She might as well know.
“It’s World Naked Gardening Day. WNGD…”
“What? What are you talking about?”
I explained, and she laughed, and reminded me of the Google
Earth Satellite. That got me wondering. If Google captured images of a private
nature, would they allow them to be broadcast over their mapping network? I
began to worry about all of those young lovers, gallivanting in the great
outdoors, naked as the day they were born. Imagine someone is searching the
area on Google Earth, looking for prime farming or hunting land, and they are
confronted with the image of a naked couple in an open field. That just doesn’t
seem right. It’s meant to be a private experience, after all.
My advice to anyone wanting to celebrate the beginning of
May with one or more naked outdoor activities is this: remember to slather on
the sunscreen before exposing your private parts to the midday sun. And if you
decide to foil the Google Earth cameras by heading into a forested area for
tree cover, don’t forget your bug spray.
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email: dianafisher1@gmail.com
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