There was a moment, one Christmas morning not too long ago,
when we realized we had overdone it. After opening our dozens of gifts, we
could not move from our seated positions on couches and chairs around my
sister’s living room. It had finally happened. We had too many gifts. It was an
embarrassment of riches.
As our children mature, they begin to want to take part in
the gift-giving ritual. Soon they are not only the recipients but also the
givers of gifts. That’s when it becomes complicated. The last thing you want at
Christmas is for your children to become stressed over the length of their
Christmas lists. It bothered me to see my daughter racing around town on
Christmas Eve, trying to find the perfect gift for every last person on her
list instead of enjoying the festivities.
But Christmas isn’t about that. Christmas is about spending
time together, celebrating traditions. And yes, you can do that with a few
token gifts. But it isn’t supposed to induce panic. Somewhere along the way we
lost sight of that.
So last year, as we dug our way out from under another
mountain of tissue paper and coloured wrapping, one of our daughters announced
that she would like to establish a new family gift-giving tradition. She wanted
to do a Secret Santa name exchange. It sounded like a great idea. Each of us in
our immediate family would draw a name, and buy a Christmas gift for that
person. The maximum value for that gift is $100. We can also buy gifts for the
other people in the family, but there is no obligation to do so. In fact, it
might prove embarrassing or uncomfortable if you have gifts for people and they
don’t have gifts for you.
The Farmer, who normally hands me the money and lets me do
the shopping, is neither comfortable nor enthusiastic about the Secret Santa
program.
“I’m buying my daughters gifts,” he announced.
“That’s fine,” I said.” But if you didn’t draw the person’s
name, the gift limit is 20 dollars.”
I got something like a “harrumph” in response.
I explained that by introducing the gift exchange, we would
be taking stress off the girls and allowing them to buy the things they really
needed with their money, instead of racing around obsessed with buying gifts
for everyone at Christmas. The Farmer was not convinced. He has not bought into
this whole deal yet.
I personally am really looking forward to being able to
focus on holiday gatherings that are not centred around opening gifts. I am
looking forward to reconnecting, celebrating memories, and building new
traditions for our growing family instead of just opening present after
unnecessary present.
It feels good to be cutting back on this indulgent,
unbalanced tradition. I will be able to take my time finding one significant
gift for the person whose name I drew. And I’m telling you right now, most of
the other people in my family will be getting books. Because I love books, and
also because they most often fall under the $20 limit that has been
established.
Now that I don’t have to spend hours upon hours in the hell
known as a shopping centre at Christmastime, I might actually have time to get
creative and make something. I can make chocolates, or almond bark, package
them up in colourful tins from the dollar store and give those as gifts instead
of spending all my hard-earned cash on things my family members do not need.
When buying my gifts, I will make every attempt to shop
local. I do this every year but it should be much easier this year with such a
simple objective. I won’t be spending thousands of dollars this holiday season,
but the money I do spend will stay in the community.
It feels good to know that in our own way this year, our
family is cutting back on waste and overspending and taking the time to
highlight the important things about the season. And it will feel really good
to have time to talk, eat, drink and maybe play a game, watch a movie or go for
a hike instead of just opening gift after gift this Christmas morning.
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