He’s been preparing for this moment for months. Just as he
does before a championship match, the professional fighter plans ahead by
marking the date and moving backwards on the calendar. Sometimes he has weight
to lose to drop him into the next class. He often has skills to work on, muscle
to build, reflexes to sharpen. In this case our young man planned ahead by
making two very important lunch dates: one with his girlfriend’s mother, and
one with her father.
Perhaps the discipline of martial arts training has leaked
over into other aspects of his life. I believe this is what is supposed to
happen, if you’re doing it right. In any case, many people might be surprised
to hear that he treated me to a meal at one of his favourite Thai restaurants,
so that he could ask for my approval. He wanted to know he had my support
before asking for my daughter’s hand in marriage.
The young man takes his time. He doesn’t just blurt things
out. Perhaps this is one of the things she loves about him. She too is a
thinker. When he took me for lunch, I asked him where we should sit and he
chose a chair directly opposite a poster of a Muay Thai fighter. “I’m sitting
here,” he announced. “For strength!” I was pretty sure I knew what he had
summoned me for, and I was happy to give my blessing.
Her father probably gave him a bit more of a challenge. I’m
sure he too is very approving of this young man for his daughter but he isn’t about
to ‘let her go’ without a test or two. Always discreet and polite, the young
man just said that dinner with the old man went well.
He was turning 28, and we usually celebrate birthdays as a
family on the farm. So he orchestrated a bit of an ‘Inception’ moment, where I
suggested that she invite his family to the farm dinner as a birthday surprise
for him. Unbeknownst to her, they had already been invited by him, and
accepted. His brother, sister, mother and three close friends came from Ottawa,
Montreal and Toronto to help fill our kitchen while he popped the question. Any
concern that I might have had about my daughter finding out about this day
beforehand melted away when I saw how excited she was to be surprising him. He
gave an adequate performance of surprise, and then led everyone into the
kitchen.
The Farmer took the young man aside as everyone gathered,
whispering, “I’ll bet you’re more nervous now than you were for your toughest
opponent in the ring!”
The twenty of us lined the kitchen, and our hero stood in
the middle. He is a civil engineer by trade but he is also a great speaker. Dressed in a crisp white shirt and walking
shorts, he paced the floor as he addressed us. He thanked us for coming, and
for sharing his birthday this way. My eldest daughter smiled, familiar with our
family tradition of giving a wee ‘speech’ on the occasion of your birthday. And
then he was done. And still standing there. The room was silent. All you could
hear was the puppy, whining in his crate, likely protesting his exclusion from
the gathering.
She stared at him, and her eyes glazed over. I wondered what
she was thinking, watching him run his fingers through his hair and shift his
weight back and forth. (Later she told me she had had a horrific thought that
maybe he was going to announce he was terminally ill. But that soon passed and
she realized what he was doing.)
She knew this day was coming, but she didn’t know he would
be ‘taking a knee’ on this date. They had discussed marriage and looked at
rings together. He chose wisely. The vintage style round diamond on a rose and
white gold band suits our designer daughter to a tee. There were tears all
around as she kissed and hugged him and pulled him to his feet. Someone asked
her to confirm her answer, a resounding “Yes.” We popped two bottles of pink
champagne and gave everyone a glass for a toast.
There is no rush to set a date. They live together and are
saving for a home. She is in no hurry. She has been waiting for this moment her
whole life - since she was a little girl, dressed in a gold floor-length gown,
watching Belle dance with her man on “Beauty and the Beast.”
It was an honour to have the farm chosen as the venue for
this live proposal celebration.
-30-
Email: dianafisher1@gmail.com
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