Take your bad romance elsewhere

The RCMP reports that the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre received 1,249 complaints of romance scams in 2021. That doesn’t count the victims who were too embarrassed to report what had happened to them. The total amount lost over those 1,249 complaints? Fifty million dollars. Most of us have been targeted by a romance scammer through social media or email. It starts with a friendly message or simple connection request from a stranger. You click on their profile, they appear to be legit, maybe they even have some interests in common with you. But look a little closer. Do you have any friends in common? How did they come across your profile? Do they have more than a dozen posts on their page or is it something new that they just set up? Is their profile a common name with an underscore and string of numbers? Most people come up with a more unique and individual profile handle. If it looks like a name that a robot could have generated, you should see red flags waving. Most victims of romance scams tend to be people who don’t use social media often. Maybe they don’t even use their email very much. So when someone starts an online friendship with them, they are easily duped. And the scammers are getting smarter. They will create profiles using stock photos of good looking people, male or female. Once they make a connection with a target, they explain that they travel a great deal for work or they live many miles away, so they can’t possibly meet in person (this last part could be very true, by the way. Your scammer is quite often part of an organized crime ring in somewhere like Nigeria). After a few weeks or even months of cultivating a romance online, when they feel their target is sufficently involved in the relationship, the scammer will pull the trigger and ask for money. They will say they need it for a medical emergency for someone in their family, or even to pay for a travel visa so that they can come and meet their online sweetheart, and start a new life together. I have never been in a position to fall for one of these schemes, but I have accused real people of being scammers in my paranoid skepticism. And I have met a victim of a romance scam, a nice farmer in the States, who rarely used his computer. When he did, he met someone via email who used my photo and name to con him out of tens of thousands of dollars, all in the name of love. -30-

Raising women in the age of Barbie

 

I was a fan of Barbie when I was young. I had an old apple basket that I used to transport my dolls. I would bring them to the backyard where I would imagine they lived in treehouses (in the boxwood hedge we had around our yard). Occasionally there was danger, when G.I. Joe arrived with the help of the boys in the neighbouring yard. Joe was far too aggressive for Barbie’s liking.

Being a brunette myself, I was always on the lookout for dark-haired Barbies. I remember getting scolded for misappropriating a certain doll from a friend’s house, and having to return it to its rightful owner. I do not remember thinking that I should aspire to look like Barbie when I grew up. That never crossed my mind. It was a ridiculous idea. She had no curves to speak of. She was plastic. She was a doll. I didn’t imagine I was expected to try to look like my Dawn doll either.

I was, instead, a victim of the airbrushing era of the 1980s supermodel in beauty and fashion magazines. But that is another story.

I remember being told that I could grow up to be “whatever I wanted”. I can’t remember who told me that (perhaps a teacher) but I believed them. I had no reason not to believe them. I competed for highest marks with the boys in my class. I often won. I felt I was being treated equally.

And yet, as I matured, I realized that something weird was going on. Slowly but surely, society began to carve out an image for me and my girlfriends. We were expected to act, dress, walk and talk a certain way. We weren’t supposed to be too loud, ambitious, competitive, or victorious. And that wasn’t necessarily coming from the men. Our female mentors, teachers, club leaders and coaches also advised us on society’s expectation of a nice, young lady.

I’m telling you it held us back. Made us falter when we should have spoken out against injustice, harrassment, maybe even assault. Had us questioning our instincts and doubting our own abilities when we were developing and daring to pursue our dreams. Society told us, in so many soft little whispers, that we were wrong. That it would be too hard.

Now, every chance I get, I encourage my daughters and granddaughters to trust their instincts and listen to their gut. To try new things, and find what gives them joy. I hope they will do those things, because the world needs more Barbies who have busted out of their boxes. The world needs more joy.

-30-

Pictured: Dawn doll "Lily" circa 1972

Festival season has begun

 

Well that was the show of a lifetime. I have loved Shania Twain for about 25 years now, and I finally got to see her in person, at Ottawa Bluesfest. The lovely surprise was that this megastar is so down to earth, you feel like you are watching a smalltown musician’s performance on a school auditorium stage. She just exudes “Ontario girl” when she performs, giggling along and never taking herself too seriously. She brings a touch of Vegas to this show, however, with her impressive light show and graphic video special effects that transform the stage into Twain Town Saloon.

I love that this 57-year-old mega superstar is just like me – reinventing her look at every opportunity to play dress-up. Heck, if I was on stage 5 times a week I would wear a different outfit and a new wig each time too. It doesn’t mean she isn’t happy with her looks. She just likes to have fun. And I love that she created all of those costumes herself, by just going through her closet and redesigning pieces that she already had.

The songs were right on point too. Every tune was just as recorded, just as expected. Yes, Shania has in recent years lost some of her singing ability due to trauma in her vocal chords from Lyme disease and she may have been singing along to her own vocal track at some points but that doesn’t bother me. It’s still Shania. And she has been performing live, several times a week, in different cities each time. That has got to put some strain on the voice, and the body.

All in all, it was a good show – and it more than lived up to my expectations after reading so many harsh reviews. What I wouldn’t give a good review to, however, is RBC Ottawa Bluesfest itself in its handling of this oversold event. With a capacity of 30,000, the LeBreton Flats space had trouble accommodating the extra 5,000 people that were sold tickets on opening night for Shania. About an hour before the 9pm show began, the gates flew open, security stopped checking tickets and bags, and they even allowed people to scale the fence, because there were so many people inside, you could barely squeeze in past the electronic turnstiles.

You’ve got to do better, Bluesfest. I am glad you are bringing in these big names but you have to move to a bigger venue, just on the edge of town, where your happy crowds can spill out into the surrounding fields without issue. Maybe partner with the Hard Rock Café on the south edge of town. Your fans deserve to be safe and comfortable.

The Class of 2023: One for the history books

 

 

Another year, another graduation ceremony. For fifteen years now, my mother, sister and I have been presenting an award in my father’s name to a deserving student who is truly interested in science. As I sat there this year, watching one student after another shaking hands, or enthusiastically hugging or clapping the back of their young principal, I realized that something was different. There was an unusual vibe permeating the festivities.

The grads were dressed creatively, as per usual, with each one attempting to shine in their own individual spotlight. Of course, one or two were trying to blend into the crowd, but most were taking the opportunity to express themselves. They left their grad robes open in front, to expose their brightly patterned tropical shirts and shorts, their flip flops or cowboy boots. I swear I even saw the telltale red soles of a pair of Christian Louboutin designer stiletto heels.

Last year we were asked to ‘hold the applause’ until the end of a group of graduates. That didn’t work very well. This year the organizers just let us clap at will. Some students illicited hoots and hollers from their biggest fans and closest friends. Things proceeded in a fairly orderly manner, but there was a really casual tone to the event.

As one young man accepted his diploma, instead of returning to his graduating class, he kept right on going out the exit door. He called back to one of his friends, “Steve! Come on!” But Steve did not follow. The teachers just smiled. The principal shrugged.

Maybe they played “Pomp and Circumstance” as the class filed in, maybe they didn’t. I don’t recall. But it was definitely more like a house party than a convocation ceremony. And that’s fine. I mean, who am I to judge? As I contemplated this, I realized that this was a very special graduating class. This particular class started in the fall of 2019 – a mere six months before the worldwide pandemic hit, forever changing what their high school careers would look like.

They learned how to complete Grade 9 and 10 in virtual classrooms. By the end of Grade 11 in 2022, the smoke was beginning to clear. But they had been changed forever. These resilient, resourceful students had found a way to succeed in an impossible situation. Dozens of them graduated as Ontario Scholars, with an average over 80 percent. There were remarkable students in the group, winning thousands of dollars in scholarships and awards.

Yes, some students barely made it through. But perhaps they learned far more about themselves than a textbook could ever teach them. And now they go out into the world to teach the rest of us.