I am writing this column as a letter to someone I only
recently met. I have known Anastasia, my daughter, since before she was born.
She introduced herself to me with firm kicks of independence and happy dancing
while she was still in the womb. Anastasia the mother, however, I just met on
December 2nd, 2015. She bears a resemblance to the young woman I
watched grow up. But another aspect of her personality is emerging. She is a
confident, calm and knowledgeable young mother, and I admire her patience, her
strength and her wholehearted dedication to this tiny being who has been
delivered to her care. This is my note to her, my middle daughter, Leti’s mom.
"Dear Anastasia. One year ago, you gave me a card that said,
“Happy Mother’s Day, GRANDMA.” I thought you chose it for the flowers on it and
didn’t read it very carefully. Actually, it was chosen with care. That is how
you announced that baby Leti was coming. Of all the wonderful homemade gifts I
have received over the years, I would have to say that’s a winner. I bought a
brand new photo album and stuck the card on the front. Over the past year I
have filled the album with weekly photos, chronicling every morning of this new
journey that we are on: you as a mother, me as a grandmother. It’s quite an
adventure already.
While you were pregnant, I listened as you reported on your
frequent bouts of morning sickness and my memory (and my stomach) commiserated.
But you were just telling me a story; you weren’t complaining. You never
complained. Not even when your feet swelled up to the point you could no longer
wear proper shoes. Not even when you could no longer sleep lying down but had
to recline slightly in a chair, surrounded by your worried dogs. You studied
pregnancy so that you would understand exactly what your body was going
through, and you explained it to the rest of us. I was pregnant three times and
all kinds of weird and wonderful things happened to me. I just listened to the
doctor, whom I only saw about once a month for most of the pregnancy. In contrast,
you trust your instincts and challenge the doctor when you see things a
different way. I admire your confidence and will. You listened to the little
person growing inside your body and made your own decisions on how things would
go.
When you went into labour a month early, you trusted your
instincts and got yourself safely to your husband and your doctor. You calmly
told your mate he would not be leaving your side – not even to collect an
overnight bag. You spoke to me and to your partner and to the nurses, all the
while breathing deeply through your contractions. You were so calm. Even when
the contractions went off the chart.
The birth itself, you tell me, was the worst pain you had
ever been through, but only for a moment. When the baby was born and needed a
little boost from CHEO for the first week you travelled back and forth to the
hospital daily to be by her side. You curved your new little family into its
own rhythm of feedings and changings, naps and playtime. The rest of the world
was firmly but gently told to wait until you could fit it into your schedule.
You realized you were in charge and made sure everyone else understood. A proud
and protective Little Mama Bear.
You have everything you need, at 24, to carry out this most
important job with ease. There will be challenges. There will be setbacks and disappointments.
But with your calm confidence, your strong partner at your side, and your
positive outlook, you will get through whatever comes your way.
For a long time I have been very proud of the young woman
you have grown into, Anastasia. And now I would like to say I am in awe of the
mother you are becoming. You will always be my daughter. My little girl. But I
am very happy to know this new side of you: Leti’s Mom. It’s nice to meet you.
Happy First Mother’s Day. Love always, Mom (Grandma ;)."
email: dianafisher1@gmail.com
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