Ready for baby

I bought a carton of cream with the expiry date of January 9, 2016. As I read the date I realized by the time this cream expires, my granddaughter will be born. Baby season is ramping up around here on the Fisher farm.

Saturday was Anastasia’s surprise baby shower. I am truly amazed that we managed to keep it secret all this time. We had a little help, because she was a bit preoccupied.

Earlier in the week, Annie got a call from one of her husband’s friends. They were planning to kidnap him for a Baby Bachelor Party. Apparently this is a thing.

Around 1:30 in the afternoon on the 21^st, the Wiggins were sitting in front of the TV, watching an old Anthony Hopkins movie. They were just getting to the scene of a bear attack when four men, their faces covered, entered the house from four different doors. It was a bit of a shock, but not all that terrifying, because although they were wearing hockey masks, they were also carrying cheerleader pompoms. And one of them was in a Scooby Doo costume. Anastasia, who was in on the whole thing, concentrated on keeping their four hunting dogs from attacking the intruders.

Andrew was manhandled out of the house and into the driveway. Then the men revealed themselves to be his hunting buddies, and his heart rate went back to normal. I was just happy to hear the whole thing hadn’t gone horribly wrong – the last guy who was kidnapped for his bachelor party was taken naked from the shower. One of his abductors ended up with a broken nose. I think if you’re going to plan this sort of thing, it’s a good idea to have the subject’s partner in on it so they can run interference. Anastasia made sure Andrew was out of the shower and dressed before zero hour when the kidnappers arrived. And if the partner is pregnant, as in the case of Anastasia, it is more reason to ensure she is in on the game. Otherwise she might panic and go into early labour, and no one wants that to happen.

So Annie had plenty to talk about when I picked her up to take her “boot shopping”. That’s what I told her, anyway. She said she was suspicious about the plan, and wondered if it might be a ruse to get her to her surprise baby shower. But when I suggested I would make lasagna for dinner and invited her to join us, she was scratching her head again. She didn’t consider lasagna a typical offering for a baby shower. But she didn’t realize I had about thirty people coming late afternoon, and they would be coming and going to and from work, so I planned a potluck dinner. Everyone was bringing something. I made lasagna.

People started arriving at the farm at 2:00pm. I took off to get Annie at 2:20. As per the plan, I left my cell phone at home. She was so excited about The Abduction of Andrew, she just kept chattering away and I doubt she even heard me when I said I had to go back home to get my phone before we could go “boot shopping”.

She was still re-enacting the events of her afternoon when we pulled into the driveway and she saw the pink balloons the Farmer had tied there. “Oh, Mom!” she said, finally cluing in. There were so many cars, we had to park in the hay field up the drive. She was crying before we even got in the door.

We played a couple of games with our guests, while the little mama sat in her decorated chair of honour and opened her gifts, for two hours straight. It’s a good thing she grabbed a plate of sandwiches and a glass of punch before she sat down. Many of the things she received were hand made, and some barely-used items were handed down. The Wiggins family is pretty well equipped now, and that baby can come today if she has to (although we hope she doesn’t).

Anastasia was very pleased to discover that there actually was a pan of lasagna at her baby shower. And I ran out last week to get her a pair of Ugg-style boots for her swollen mama feet, so she had that surprise as well.

Just over a month to go until the due date. Christmas will be the second most important thing happening around here this holiday season.

Email: dianafisher1@gmail.com